Intimate Partner Violence

Intimate partner violence, often called domestic violence, is a pattern of behaviors where one partner seeks power and control over the other.

Although Intimate Partner Violence happens in the straight community as well, there are some specific behaviors that should serve as red flags in the LGBTQ+ community.

A relationship can still be abusive and dangerous even if a partner never hits you.  There are many types of abuse, including financial, emotional, sexual, and physical.

Warning Signs of Intimate Partner Violence

  • Threatening to “out” you in order to get you to do something or behave in a certain way
  • Belittling your gender identity or presentation, such as ignoring your pronouns or correct name, telling you that you are not a “real” man/woman, criticizing non-binary identity, etc.
  • Using your fear of the police or legal system to keep you from calling 911, filing an Emergency Protective Order, giving true statements, or pressing charges
  • Taking away items related to your gender presentation (clothes, make-up, binders, etc.)
  • Preventing you from receiving adequate medical care or destroying your medications or hormones
  • Criticizing your sexual orientation
  • Telling you no one else would want to be with someone like you
  • Isolating you from your friends, family, or community
  • Monitoring your phone usage, texts, emails, social media, or snail mail
  • Accusing you of having affairs or cheating
  • Hitting, slapping, kicking, biting, shoving, choking, or grabbing during an argument
  • Coercing you into doing things you do not want to do sexually
  • Preventing you from having or keeping a job or education
  • Threatening to hurt or kill themselves if you leave or if you do not comply with their wishes
  • Blaming you for their violence or saying it didn’t happen

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these warning signs, it is important to remember that no one deserves to feel unsafe or be abused.  The Center for Women and Families is here to help people of all genders and sexual orientations.