Carry the Card
Would you know what to do if you saw someone who might be in an abusive relationship?
It can be hard to know what to do if you suspect someone is in an abusive relationship. One thing you can always do is refer them to our advocates here at The Center. We are asking you to Carry the Card in your wallet or purse so you have something you can actively do to help someone in a violent relationship. The card is small enough it can be easily concealed by someone in a dangerous situation. We are happy to send you a card to carry for this purpose. You can email us or call 502-581-7261 and we’ll get you taken care of. We would love for you to help us spread the word! You can download this flyer to hang at your local coffee shop, school, work or community center. Download the Carry the Card flyer. Do you own a business or would you like to put up a display somewhere at your workplace? Let us know and we can help you get it set up!
Domestic violence is a scary and isolating experience. If you witness someone going through it and don’t know what to do, try to imagine how you’d want to be helped. Reaching out to a victim can provide them with support that they may not be receiving anywhere else. Whether it’s a co-worker or a stranger you pass on your morning run, if you witness someone being verbally or physically abused, it’s okay to speak up.
If possible, finding a time to speak to the victim when their partner isn’t nearby could be safest for you, and also for them. Besides avoiding aggravating the abuser and possibly causing them to lash out at you or their partner, keeping your support secret can help prevent the abusive partner from distancing their partner from you and from your help. Abusive people often isolate their partner from anyone they feel might encourage their partner to end the relationship, so if the abuser recognizes you as a threat to their power, they may take steps to keep their partner away from you.
Sometimes victims and survivors may believe that abuse is normal, so one of the most important things you can do for someone in an abusive relationship is let them know that abuse isn’t okay and it’s not their fault. You might say things like, “You don’t deserve to be treated like that” or “You deserve to be treated with respect.”
Always respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. They may leave and return to the relationship many times. Do not criticize their decisions or try to guilt them. They will need your support even more during those times.
A community of support is necessary to help a survivor reach safety and peace. Even if you don’t know the person experiencing dating abuse, you have the ability to become a source of support. Carefully intervening can have a positive impact on someone in an abusive relationship and may be the difference between safety and danger. Do your part and speak up against abuse.*
*Information from this page adapted from www.loveisrespect.org