From Trauma to Empowerment: A survivor of sexual assault shares her journey toward healing

Emily, a college student whose life was upended due to a sexual assault by an acquaintance at a party, now feels empowered to move forward on her healing journey, thanks to the care she received at The Center.

(To protect Emily’s privacy, we are using a stock photo with her story.)

As she prepared to enter a new year of college in Kentucky, Emily was already formulating plans for her future after graduation.  A rising sophomore pursuing a degree in secondary education, she was contemplating her career options.  A night out with friends, however, ended with a sexual assault that disrupted her short- and long-term vision for her life. 

 Emily said she was hanging out with friends at a party where they had all had too much to drink. Later at the party, she dozed in and out of sleep and became aware that an assault was taking place.  She said the perpetrator was an acquaintance of a friend and that they had all been part of the same group throughout the evening.

 “I believe I was much calmer at The Center than I would have been at the hospital.” - Emily, A client of our SAFE Clinic

Initially, Emily found it difficult to grasp what had occurred. “I couldn’t process that it was an assault,” she said.

 After she came to terms with what had happened, Emily confided in a few friends about the assault and expressed her intention to go to the hospital ER to receive care. That’s when one of her friends told her about The Center for Women and Families’ 24/7 free, on-site clinic for sexual assault forensic exams (SAFE). The friend was someone she trusted, and she also worked at The Center as an advocate.

Armed with this new knowledge, Emily changed her plans and came to The Center instead. “I believe I was much calmer at The Center than I would have been at the hospital,” she said. “There was very little that I had to do on my part. Someone was always telling me exactly what was happening.”  And in the days, weeks, and months following her exam, Emily credited the friend who works at The Center with helping her to understand her options.

 “My advocate was my guiding light, and she helped me navigate the legal process and understand everything that was happening.”- Emily

“She was 100 percent my biggest supporter and was like a mother figure to me,” said Emily. “She was my guiding light, and she helped me navigate the legal process and understand everything that was happening.”

 As Emily considered legal action against her perpetrator, she hesitated to pursue criminal charges, fearing that her college years might be overshadowed by a court case. What she immediately wanted was to petition the court for an order of protection against him; during the court hearing for the order, however, Emily received unsettling news.

 With both sides present at the hearing—Emily, with her advocate and a legal aid attorney, and her perpetrator, with his parents and two lawyers—the judge denied her request for a protective order.

 “The judge said that she believed the assault took place but that she did not believe the assault would happen again,” said Emily. She believes the judge made this decision because she and the perpetrator live and attend school in two different parts of the state, and that her perpetrator had recently graduated from college.

 “I was disappointed and disheartened by the judge’s decision,” said Emily. But the ruling also sparked a major turning point in her life.  She has shifted her focus from secondary education to a dual emphasis on secondary education and law and justice, aiming to create and reform policies that support and advocate for survivors.

 Emily said more education and training is needed for some in the legal community. She recounted how the officer who took her statement about the sexual assault made excuses for the perpetrator, saying, “The crazy things people do when they are drunk.”

 Moreover, the officer told her he couldn’t file a report unless she was going to press charges. After making a quick call to confirm, he learned that he could, in fact, take her statement regardless of her decision about pursuing criminal charges.

 When Emily later decided she wanted to press charges, she said the second detective assigned to her case was very knowledgeable and helpful.  She said that while she continues to face challenges with communication gaps, delays, and the overall pace of the system, she remains optimistic that progress is being made.

 Emily also wants to break stigmas about beliefs and attitudes surrounding sexual assault, sharing the example that during the hearing for the protective order, her perpetrator attempted to present himself as a smart guy by emphasizing that he had just graduated from college.

 While working to prepare her case, Emily continues her college studies and, on the recommendation of her advocate, she is now seeing a therapist near her college campus. Her advocate also encouraged her to write down what healing looked like for her. Emily wrote that sharing her story to help others would contribute to her healing.

“Speaking out loud has been validating for me, and I hope doing so will help others find strength and understanding.”-Emily

Emily learned about a Storytelling Workshop for survivors offered by The Center but found all spots filled when she called to sign up. She was placed on a waiting list and later secured a spot in the workshop.

 “In the first few months after the assault, my mental state was significantly worse,” she said. “Speaking out loud has been validating for me, and I hope doing so will help others find strength and understanding.”